I think I'm getting myself into a difficult career. Food writing? What have I gotten myself into? I love to write, and it seems so hard to break into it. The career services at school couldn't even help me. That's pretty bad. When the career service center at school tells you that they can't do more than tell you to do lots of freelance, there's a red flag.
But I don't really think I want to do anything else. I'd love to be in a food magazine. Recipe testing would be lots of fun, and give me an edge over other freelance applicants who want to publish in that magazine, it would be a more steady job and give me something fun to do.
I can't work at a bakery. I don't think I can handle that again. My poor hand muscles are enough to not be able to pipe, ice, or cut. And you wonder how I'm still here. I don't know. I really love what I do, but all of those problems has shattered my confidence. I can make things taste great, but looking great is another thing altogether, which makes me think recipe testing may be the way to go; I have the training to obsessively measure to the last gram like they want, but have the knife and piping skills equal to a home cook. I really think it's the way to go. Recipe testing while moonlighting as a food writer. I can bake all day without being in a bakery at 3 am. Early hours aren't the issue. I love early mornings. It's the lifestyle. I see what it does to people. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and I wouldn't like to start. Burn-out rates, divorce rates are huge in my industry. I want to do what I love, but not at the expense of my health and life.
I'll get there. Some great job at a magazine. I worry about the future and about money way too much. How I'm going to repay loans and payments is beyond me.
I need to get some work done. I've been sitting here all day, researching various things, trying to get motivated enough to buckle down and focus. This independent study paper is brutal. Theres' so much for me to do and I have no idea how to go about or even begin getting around and through it. There's just so much to talk about and say about the subject that it seems like I can never say enough of it. I'm being so lazy. I hate it. I got so much done on Tuesday and Thursday. I don't have my Spanish book, so I can't get that done...and that's about all I can do for the moment. Asias reading has to be done on Monday so I can remember it come Tuesday, every other class there isn't much...Finance....bah...damn. I should do that this weekend. I loathe Finance for various reasons.
Time to focus. If I can.