Obligatory. I love that word. I don't know what to say. This feels like the run of the mill New Year post. Things about changing yourself, be a better person, a new year! Right? Riiight. That lasts till about the second week of January, Valentine's Day, if you're lucky.
No, this year I'm going to try and better myself: read more, control my temper, little things. But it's hard to actively participate in these Resolutions all year long. You forget. It creeps back, prodding you when you're in a work or school fog. A sudden memory: “Oh! I was going to loose weight this year!” you think, mid-bite to a donut. Opps. For as long as I've been aware of what a resolution is, I've promised to stop biting my nails. Ha. I've been trying to stop that for....as long as I've been aware it's bad to bite them. I've sort of given up. Oh well. I don't like manicures or people touching my feet anyway.
I had an idea for a Resolution article for the paper, called “Hold the Ketchup.” that I may write. I use too much ketchup....and it's pretty bad for you sugar wise. So I may cut back....it sounds like I'm trying to cut back on cigarettes...”Yeah, I'm down to two bottles a day.” That made me laugh. Thoughts about Ketchup detox and shivering under blankets. I'm not that bad. As bad as I used to be growing up.
It'd be snobby of me to say I dont want to change myself. I do. But New Years shouldn't be the time to do so. It should be all year. When you catch yourself doing something you know you shouldn't. I'm pretty happy being who I am. There are things I can and should work on, and that's enough for me. I don't have a strong desire to loose weight, I don't have any bad vices, it'd be great to work out a little more, but that's most of America.
Blog. I'd like to blog more! There we go. I need to write more. I'll try that...we'll see how long that lasts. I feel like such a nerd. Nothing I say is as good as what other people say. How can I make my writing good enough? I want to be better. But I don't know how. My writing is never good enough for me. There's always a better word, better sentence or structure. I agonize over everything. When I write papers for school, it comes to a point where I just can't look at it anymore. This blog is my free thought. My relaxed style. This blog may not be perfect, but I try to make it a little better each time. I know in the morning I'll open this and franticly edit a sentence, word or grammar I somehow overlooked.
I'm looking at old things I've written. Articles that didn't make it into the school paper. I must say these articles are badly in need of polish, even the ones that did get in. That's alright. I've come a long way.
I'm horrible at ending blogs. How is it done? I'm crap at endings in general, always somehow falling into a positive message. I think, just this once, a cheesy ending is needed, especially for a New Years post: even little things can be a big improvement. You're human! We screw up, it happens, don't let it stop you. I know not many people read my blog, but I'm okay with that, thank you again to those who stick it out with me. You are few, but appreciated.
If nothing else, this year show more kindness. A little appreciation goes a long way and it costs nothing to say “Thank you.” Once you get into that habit, it will be hard to break!
To health and happiness!