Shamleless Plug

I'm embarking on a new part of my life that is happier and going in a direction! It's really refreshing.

I was married May 19th, 2012 to a great guy I met at the C.I.A and we're go excited to embark on a life together. He has as culinary degree to match my baking and pastry degree. It's going to be a Good life.

I hope you enjoy my thoughts on food and cooking. I am but a humble baker, who happens to love cooking and embraces the joy of food.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Gusty Thoughts, Asia Notebook

I'm running out of space in my notebook. It kinda sucks. It makes me a little sad. I'm torn. I should give these notebooks to my boyfriend, so he can use them, but I have so many little blog writings that it would be weird. My notes are disorganized to everyone but me. I also would like to keep these for years later when I come across them again.

I'm in history of Asia. It's almost 9 am, I did badly on a reading quiz. I didn't get to the reading. I was so swamped with papers and such that it slipped my mind. I just need to do well on the exam next week.

I have the worst handwriting. It's hard fro me to write for long periods. It gets very uncomfortable for extended periods. I keep trying to improve, but it never works.

I'm starving. I want to grab lunch. It's only 10:43. I need to slim down though for more sweets or junk!

I know I should loose weight, but I've decided I don't like the gym. Calorie counts are so terribly inaccurate, so why put in so much effort for so few calories? I like to walk, ride a bike or play in the snow anyway.

It's snowing now, actually. I hope classes wont be canceled. I want to be able to grab dinner. Students freak out when you take away their meals. On days when classes are canceled after noon, all but thee places are closed for eating....when there is usually at least eleven. Now factor in an entire school....

We've been so used to having mild weather (and we complain, too) that now that it's snowed for probably the fourth or fifth time this month, we're complaining. Like I always say, “Pick a parcipiation and stick with it!”

Now it's 11:30, I'm in line to grab a sandwich, hopefully they'll open before noon. I scafed down several slices of grainy bread already, but I just want to eat and get some work done.

Mmmm, pressed turkey club..sounds like a good lunch.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Mishgosh of a 40th post

My senior thesis is done! My term is windng down, papers are being turned feelings are mixed. I'm sad to think I'm leaving behind my second home, chefs, teachers, friends, the food, the life I've known for three years. But a part of me is ready to be home again for a little bit, find a job...

A job. Freelance is going to be tough. I'm lucky to have the contacts that I do. I'd be so lost and going nowhere without them.

Anyone looking for an aspiring food writer almost fresh out of college?

I wish I was more understood. I feel so desperate to be understood sometimes. When I joke around, or am sarcastic, I never intend to be mean, just trying to belong. Sometimes they just don't get it.

It's hard sometimes. I want to be liked, but I don't know how to fit in. But at the same time I don't. I like to be myself; a little weird and different, but that doesn't mean I want to be outcasted, or made to feel like one with comments, smirks and stares.

When did Spanish get so hard? I remember when chapter three worried me. I feel so behind. I never got lower than an 85 until I got to Spanish 4. Now I'm trying to get above 75. It feels like Math- where I have no foundation.

This post is going in too many directions. Apologies. Just writing the things that went through my mind in my last two classes.

Bees and Sibling Angst

My father is taking up bee keeping. He is really going to be keeping bees. Three pounds of Italian bees. We were talking about it at dinner last week. My sister was teasing me by telling me I need to get a job and an apartment. Bees are in the top three of things I’m most terrified of. My dad was saying how Russian bees were more aggressive, which launched my brother into this stand-up act of Russian Communist bees.
We have a bee crisis going on in the country. Bees are dying out and crops are suffering. Having bees in the backyard would help a mile radius or so. It’d be helpful in areas with more crops, so maybe this will be some big tread. I’m looking forward to fresh honey and honeycomb (even if my dad wants to use it to make mead)

I was irritated when my sister teased me. I get defensive and when I try and stand up for my self they exchange these amused, humored expressions of shock. I’m 22, and whenever I’m home I feel like I’m transformed into a child again, and they make me feel so little. My brother talks to me with an attitude sometimes and once you give him one back he gets all shocked and angry and immature “Ooooh! Well then! See how far you get with THAT attitude!” Aaagh!!!

I want to be treated like an adult. I’m so sick of them talking to me and teasing me and making me feel so small. They would say stop acting like one, but they do it to get to me, and isn’t that childish? The worst of it is when I stand up for myself, I get into trouble. I’m the one that gets yelled at and I don’t even get a chance to explain myself. If they do it to get to me and make me upset, isn’t that more childish? It’s not fair. I feel like I’m so misunderstood and I’m so sick of trying to explain to justify myself to them. I’m different, get over it. Learn to accept me and stop making me feel so damn small. Of course if I say that, they’ll blame it all on me and it’ll me all my fault for standing up to myself. My parents wont listen, because of course, since I’m the one home from school, and I’m the youngest, it’s me causing the trouble. Of course, of course. I’ve been teased enough in my life and I sure as hell don’t need it in my 20’s from my siblings when they do it to see me get angry. They can tease me but they can’t get it back? My parents “Don’t want to referee” but that’s not what I’m asking! Just LISTEN to me! You shouldn’t have to tell your children in their 20’s to stop making their little sister feel so small.

We all get along most of the time, but sometimes they just like to pick and pick and pick and they just like to see me squirm and fight back. I’m too damn old for this.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's Day

Another holiday post. Valentine's Day is such an odd holiday. Everyone views it differently. People expect day long flutters of romantic feelings, some expect chocolate, others diamond rings or jewelry...others hate it.

Valentine's Day was always a fun thing at my house, we would go out for dinner usually, siblings and I would get a small box of candy and some other kind of small things to acknowledge the big deal. Just a day to make a special effort to show people you care for them. So when my boyfriend asked me “So what do you want for Valentine's Day?” I was mildly appalled, and turned to lecture him. Is it my birthday? Is it Christmas? Anniversary? So why is he asking me what I'd like? I didn't think Valentine's Day was a holiday to get something you want. I'm happy with some form of chocolate, a decent meal together and just a relatively nice day. I don't think it's low expectations, it's logical. Giving someone a car or a phone for Valentine's Day is just...another example how it is a consumer driven holiday. Some woman expect way too much. Hundreds of dollars spent on some sort of thing...makes them seem a little high maintenance. A card, chocolate or flowers are more than enough to acknowledge the day, and we should be happy with it and appreciate it. There's so much pressure to get the holiday right. Last Valentine's Day was the very first with a boyfriend. We'd met the Valentine's Day before, at an Anti-Valentine's Day (but that's another story), so while it would be a year that we met, we weren't one to celebrate every teeny “anniversary” together.

We had a blizzard and the first snow day in ten years at school, so everything was shut down. Any plans for dinner together up at school was spoiled. I had made chocolate lava cakes, had gotten him a box of chocolates I had customized at a Russel Stover site, and we got dinner at the Rec Center Cafe. I remember he gave me a good bar of chocolate, possibly a few other cute small things, and that was all I really needed. You shouldn't go too crazy on the 14th.

I think people who hate view it wrong. I grew up thinking you didn't need some kind of boyfriend to have Valentine's. It was one of the best days of the year in class- cupcakes, candy, fun cards (for everyone, of course), you got a box of chocolate from at least one family member, we went out for dinner- which was always a treat, some cards, silly Valentines cartoons. An all around fun day to show silly forms of affection for people. Now I guess it's just an excuse to have a date. If you are single, it's a day to send flowers and cards to friends, and call home, I don't know why it's so hated. I don't think I ever hated it, just mild jealousy when I saw girls have flowers and such. The anti-Valentine's Day party where I met my boyfriend was just because my classmate was hosting it as her R.A event and I wanted to go support her. That was two years ago! Insane.

V-day is what you make of it. If you want to be miserable, that's your choice. But you're missing out on a day that can be fun. You can be happy and still be single on Valentine's Day....anyone who tells you otherwise is just single and miserable, or taken and rubbing it in your face.

Have a great Valentine's Day everyone. :)